This Spoon

 

This Spoon

This spoon

It brought me joy

This spoon

It gave me a smile

This spoon

It was comforting

This spoon 

It knew it was needed

This spoon

It was more than a utensil

This spoon

It found its purpose

This spoon

It belonged to me

This spoon 

It came home with me

Home Again

This past weekend, I spent time in Princeton, NJ at the HealtheVoices conference thanks to Johnson & Johnson. They paid for my travel, hotel, and other related expenses in exchange for me providing my own voice. My voice as a patient advocate, a person living with diabetes as well as multiple other chronic conditions. They asked for me to be authentically myself. The good and the bad as I felt comfortable to share. In Friday night’s keynote, we were encouraged to express the masterpiece that is our life. Poetry got me through my teen years, and this session helped spark that love again. My last post was the poem inspired by that presentation. This next poem was written in my living room as I digest my feelings from them conference. Digesting the information will come later. Thank you, HeV and J&J!

Hone Again

As I sit here remembering 

Recalling my journey

Reminiscing about yesterday

Friends now family

Understanding my pain

   My heartache

   My troubles 

   My woes

Holding them close

   Snuggly in my heart

   Safely, securely, protected

   Accessible to me as needed

Knowing we all have pain and heartache 

Same yet different yet the safe

Different shapes and patterns that fit together 

Like a beautiful melody

   Safe and warm

   Lived and heard

c2025 Diabetes Ramblings

Diabetes Said to Me

 Diabetes said to me, "You think you know me? 

Just wait! You're in for a wild ride!"

Diabetes said to me, "Your doctor thinks you've got this.

Ha! How easily fooled he is!"

I replied to diabetes, "I've go this! It will be easy!"

I thought I knew all I needed to know.

Like the song that doesn't end, neither does diabetes.

Like the changing seasons, 

days of brightness turn into days of darkness.

Conversations with caregivers, family and friends,

well-meaning busy bodies. 

Sometimes soft and subtle, full of quiet contemplation.

Suddenly turning fast and loud, judgmental. 

Needing to find a way to quiet their critiques.

I open a box of crayons where each one is different.

Every color is beautifully unique.

Like my diabetes. Unique to me.

 Not simple to understand but part of me now.

Diabetes said to me, "You think you know me?"

I replied to diabetes, "You think you know ME?"

 

c2025 Diabetes Ramblings

 

 

 

I've missed you!

During the past few years, I've been away from my blog. I've written several posts in my head, but unfortunately those posts have not yet made it to the internet. I've been dealing with depression, anxiety, health issues, teaching during a pandemic... but I've also had the joy of family, friends, students.

I've been reignited by the HealtheVoices conference, podcasts, and Instagram posts to continue my advocacy work. I don't report on policy or pharma. I want to share my story.  The story I was looking for when I was diagnosed. The story that many of us are looking for. Medical information is everywhere. The patient story is what I needed to hear back in 2008 when I was told I had Type 2 diabetes. The patient story is what I need to hear when I had my first stroke that was different from other strokes I've heard about.

This blog is a patient's story... My story. And like any good story, this one leaves you with a cliffhanger... 

(to be continued)

Want to Follow Me?

 Until I get my blog up and going again, please find me on Instagram!

Why am I here?

Why am I here?

I've been thinking a lot about this question lately. Especially since my stroke in February. We all question our purpose, but when faced with a situation that could be fatal. I don't like to think about it, but even though I came out ok from my stroke, the fact is that I could have died if it had hit a different part of my brain. I am thankful every day that I am still here, but that still brings up the question...

Why am I here?

This is a question I have been asking myself. Is there a purpose for my life? I'm meaning beyond the raising my children and being here to see my grandchildren.

I believe the answer is yes. My purpose is to share my story. To let someone know they are not alone. And if someone feels alone, my hope is through my words I can help them feel less alone.

Why am I here?

If someone needs a friend or a listening ear, my contact information is in my profile. Please use it. I am here for you. THAT is why I am here!

Uninvited Guests

This is a post that has been going around in my head for two months now. I know I want to... need to... write this. Not just for others, but mainly for myself. I need to get my thoughts and emotions out. That is the reason for my blog. To explore what I'm dealing with as a person with chronic illness. If by sharing I help one person who is also struggling know they are not alone, I have me my purpose.

People dealing with a chronic illness know that, quite often, the medical file usually doesn't stop with one diagnosis. Whatever the cause - genetic, autoimmune, illness, or just pure luck - rarely do we see a person with only one condition in the world of chronic illness. I started my journey in March 2008 with one condition - Type 2 diabetes. Just this year I have added to the list.

In the last few years, I found out I have a fatty liver, a cyst on one of my kidneys, and plantar fasciitis. Earlier this year I finally got an answer to my chronic pain - fibromyalgia. Thankfully it hasn't caused too much trouble in my job as a first grade teacher.

On February 19, my left thumb started to feel numb. I thought that was strange but didn't think much of it. Maybe I'd call the doctor the next day or so if it didn't go away. The next morning, I notice my left upper arm felt a little numb. Not totally numb. I could still feel pressure. Probably best described as the numbness you feel when the dentist first gives you a local injection to fill a cavity. Within less than an hour, my entire left side had this sensation. Off to the ER I went! (Thankfully it was a snow day so I didn't have to request s substitute or write sub plans!)

After tests and doctor appointments over the next several days, it was determined that I had a right thalamic stroke. In other words, stroke in the right side of the thalamus, near the center of the brain. This area of the brain affects sensation which explains why my left side was experiencing diminished sensation (numbness).

I am now officially a stroke survivor.

Chronic conditions are like uninvited guests. You don't want them, but sometimes it's next to impossible to get rid of them. I still have diminished sensation on the left side of my body, most noticeable on my face and upper arm. I may need to learn to live with this for the rest of my life. If you can't get rid of the uninvited guest, you might as well make friends!